Things change. People change. Seasons change.
That's an old Wilson-Phillips lyric, and it haunts me as I write this.
(actually, a one-hit wonder by Expose', but it may as well be Wilson-Phillips.)
Malachi did not go with +People to People Student Travel . They are still holding a place for him.
So much has changed, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot help but feel a failure because he did not fulfill the commitment he made. I'm looking hard for the lesson, and when I think about it too much, I become impotent with frustration and resentment.
I don't spend too much time with those two emotions, and it is preventing me from taking the lessons I need from this spectacular disappointment.
My beloved Lily is gone. Gone forever, and I was silent on this platform, bereft and mute with grief and loss. I've lost many people and circumstances in my life, but this one ranks right up there.
I still dig being me, and even I have to give me credit for a special kind of resilience.
I still have dreams, plans, and goals for the future, and you all still want to hear what I've got to say.
It's hard to believe people still come by to read this blog, after I left it to languish for so long. I'm grateful. Better yet, I'm hopeful.
If we are wise, we learn from the bitter, and retain the taste of sweetness as much as we can.
Malachi has changed. He works. He dates.
He grew a mustache.
I'm still there for him, but things are not the same. I saw an audience of women respond to the question,
"Do you put yourself first or last in relation to your family?"
I was shocked to discover that I now inhabit a minority.
Moms, wives, daughters, and women in general now think it's normal to put themselves first.
I need time to think about that. Stay tuned for what it means for Malachi.
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog. I think I'll keep it for Malachi's future.
