Easier Said Than Done

We all know the definition of insanity: "Doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different outcome."  Les Brown always says, "If we knew better, we would do better!"  Well, I've no idea how to get my kid to Europe on a shoestring, so I have got to build a bridge from what I do know outward.  I've got to stand on what I know, and reach out toward the unknown.  It's scary.  Malachi is too afraid even to attempt it.  We've tried this before.  He remembers what happened.  I remember him dropping to his knees when he found out he would not be going on an educational retreat because I had not raised the money, and the scholarship application had closed.  Educational marketing is such that I was forced to do a fundraiser in order to be eligible for the scholarship.  The scholarship closed unexpectedly a day or so after I'd raised $300 to send them.  I had to tell Malachi.  I did not know it would break his heart.  Seven years later, his apathy tells me it's STILL broken.  He won't even try.

I've been tryna help myself and this kid a long time, and I'll never stop.

His non-involvement is hard on me.  I feel like I'm plugging away on his future without any input from him.  I vacillate between wanting to chuck the entire endeavor and stage-managing this whole thing without him.  He's got some awesome music on my hard drive.  I've been asking him for permission to shop it so he can pay his OWN daggone way!  He has slow-walked me since OCTOBER.  If he went to school one day and could not take a step for the throngs of people complementing him on his most recent beats, he would think I've done him wrong.  Even if it turned out for the best.  I know him.  This is what I mean by the convenience of stuck-ness.  That boy knows I respect him and his intellectual property so much that I won't administer it without his permission, even for his own good.  What he doesn't seem to comprehend is that I know what I'm doing.  No pedophile or perpetrator or poseur wants to take ME on. Not anymore, anyway.  I can destroy your credibility by means of a single hashtag, and I have done it.  No more posting black women bound with ball gags on my kid's profile for YOU, Dr. Cyanide.  I know the Godfather.

It's time to order a passport.  I'd have done it by now, but as you see, I'm panhandling this thing on my own.  Another few weeks and I won't be able to get it done in time.  I don't want to fail Malachi, even as he is busy failing himself.  He has insulated himself from reality.  If he doesn't do anything, there's no disappointment to be felt.  If I don't pull this off, he can tell himself it was never meant to be.  I've been listening here on The Plus.  I cannot allow my son to embrace this pattern of avoidance!  It will ruin his life.

I don't give up.  I don't back down.  I try to learn from Disappointment and Defeat.  One thing those two will never willingly teach you is how to WIN.  You have to FIGHT to wrest that knowledge from those two old instructors.  Their class is free, and you can enroll on a minute-to-minute basis.

Thanks for taking the time to read this blog.
#FriendsofMalachiMaxwellGlass

PastForward:2014

It's hard to know what lies ahead.  It's easy to get stuck in the past.  This is the time of year when most people engage in some introspection; hindsight kicks into high gear.  We try to consider what worked and what did not in the year nearly completed.  We think about what we want for "next year."  This has always been a difficulty for me, because even as a child, I realized that the "New Year" is an arbitrary thing.  As a kid on Long Island, my birthday fell on Yom Kippur for much of the 70s.  I got the day off.  I've always been a grateful sort, so I did a little research and found that Yom Kippur is "The Day of Atonement," and what Jewish folk do before their New Year is wipe up all the bad blood spilled between family, friends, and anyone else--in order to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.  The process also serves as an inventory of what works and what does not in one's personality, affairs, and general worldview.  This I learned from Harold Robbins, Lord love him!

It's always good to keep looking up!

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions anymore.  The "Fly Jock" Tom Joyner helped me out with this.  He says that if you've waited until the last week of the year to map out what you want for the year upcoming, you are already too far behind to make it happen.  He recommends that you begin planning your new year in the final quarter--really, you should have things fleshed out pretty well by the third quarter of the year.  Then you can spend the fourth quarter doing the practical things to set your New Year's plan in motion.  It's simple, really.  I didn't do this.  I got bogged down in other stuff.  I did more of what I enjoy doing, and overlooked the things that would provide a clear plan of action for 2014.  I can't blame Malachi, although I'd really like to.  He wants to go on that trip, but he doesn't want to put in the work.  I've got about 90 days to make him.  I've never really had to ride herd on this boy, and he ain't gonna like it.  I don't care, since I know he has every intention of blaming me if he does not get to go.  I have blogged about pretty much everything that concerns me personally, and established my "social presence" for good or ill here on G+.  If the Hulkster wants me in his circles, I cain't be all bad.  Now it's time to focus this blog on Malachi, whether he likes it or not.  He is missing the opportunity that is G+, because he thinks I don't know what I'm doing. He thinks that because he isn't paying proper attention.  I can help him with that.  He's got to learn how to work hard for what he wants and overcome obstacles in order to get it.  So do I.  It's hard to get a teenager to pursue personal development with you.  It seems waaaay uncool.  I'm taking the long view.  Just as I look at a six-foot tall kid and always perceive a chirpy little butterball of a boy with a binky and a head full of golden brown curls, one day he will look back (Lord willing) on this time in his life and discern the heavy lifting that was done to move the stumbling blocks of  low wealth (and its concomitant poverty mind), low confidence, and submerged opportunity.  He will know the worth of it when he has to motivate his own crew of navel-gazers!

It's not easy for anyone to stay focused.  It's certainly difficult for a young man to do so.  It's fashionable to let kids find their own way these days, and for the most part, that's what I do.  I make exception in this case, because Malachi has a desire to go abroad that is so strong that fear of disappointment has him stymied.  I've got to act.  He has to learn to move forward in spite of appearances.  He has to learn to ask for help.  He must learn to receive it when it comes.  He must accept it graciously, and not as an indictment of his abilities.  I have got to do the very same thing.  Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

Happy New Year, everyone!

#FriendsofMalachiMaxwellGlass